looking back on the last year Part 1

Looking back on the past year, we have gone through many seasons of change.

Part 1: Looking for Community

Last October I was asking what we should do about being part of a church community. I had been desperately seeking community, willing to endure the difficulties of building relationships, willing to invest myself fully and commit to the long haul. Because I didn't live near the friends I had known for a long time, I was making new friends, some neighbors and some through the nearest church, but who also did not live nearby. I was finding that in making new friends there is often such a discrepancy of what you hope for and what the other expects. I wanted more honesty, more long-term vision, more realism about relationships, endurance, openness, forbearance, more commitment and investment. I was not finding the willingness or reciprocation that I was looking for. Many people value but don't practice honesty, vulnerability and commitment to friendships. Though it gets a lot of lip service, the process of building friendship and community takes time. It is not learned in the short term. It is grown and proven over the long term. Still I was willing to put in the effort and make the investment, whatever the cost. After meeting many people I would still have to be selective about where to invest. I had to try to get to know people, and see who seemed to desire something similar to what I was desiring. A person can't wear themselves out pursuing committed friendships with people who are not equally committed.

While writing my blog where I compared the two churches I was attending at the time, I realized that I had known many of the people in the house church for 12 years or more. I started thinking about that. These were the people who had sparked many of my most significant transformations in life. These were the people who have trusted me many times to babysit their children for weekends away. These were the people who had been with me at my wedding, at my births, through my greatest losses, and when I needed advice. These were people who had been through significant trials together. Their friendships had survived many personal and relational fires. These were people who I respected for their honesty, integrity, and faithfulness. These are people I trust. These are people who would reciprocate the commitment and investment that I was desiring. So my choice became clear. I was ready to make that my home fellowship, and that would mean that if I really wanted to be invested in the lives of those people, we would have to move closer to them.

I mapped out the homes of friends in the neighbourhood where the church meets. Several families that I had gotten to know from the other church also live in the same neighborhood. So, if we moved I didn't have to walk away from those relationships by choosing one church gathering over the other. Unfortunately that neighborhood did not have some of the amenities we had grown accustomed to. We would be missing the Co-op where we buy groceries in bulk, resale shops where we trade for credit or sell for cash, and easy bus access to Tim's job. But we weighed these things against having our family planted among faithful friends and we prepared ourselves to move.